By Benjamin Rothove
The Senate race in Pennsylvania is perhaps the most chaotic election in the 2022 cycle. Perhaps more accurately referred to as the Transylvania Senate election, the race is between Dr. Frankenstein and his monster, so voters must decide whether they want to be represented by a madman or a fool. On the Republican side, television star Mehmet Oz keeps putting his foot in his mouth, unable to appeal to his base or to moderates. On the Democratic side, John Fetterman seems unable to say, well anything.
Primaries: While I would like to focus on the candidates in the general election, this election was weird from the beginning. On the Democratic side, it appeared that Congressman Conor Lamb would easily win the primary, but his campaign was disastrous from the beginning. His team was so disorganized that he was unable to garner anything resembling widespread support, which lead to him handily losing the primary. On the Republican side, the primary was decided by just a few hundred votes. The messy first round, however, was nothing compared to what was to come.
John Fetterman: On September 11, 2022, John Fetterman towered over a crowd of feminist activists. Fetterman looked down at the pink t-shirt he was holding in his hands and proudly proclaimed, “I… am John… Fetterwoman!” The crowd stood silent.
If anyone besides Oz were the Republican nominee, this election would be an easy GOP win. Standing almost 7 feet tall, Fetterman should be a giant disaster candidate. Before the primary election, Fetterman suffered a stroke that took him off the campaign trail. Even since his return to campaigning, he is having difficulty forming coherent sentences.
Despite the fact that he has a master’s degree from Harvard, Fetterman presents himself as a working-class guy. Fetterman has multiple tattoos, including the dates of nine different murders. Fetterman owns only one suit, so he usually wears jeans and a plain hoodie.
Fetterman began his political career as the mayor of Braddock, a small, poverty-stricken town. As mayor, he earned a salary of only $1,800 per year. Instead, he earned a $50,000 annual allowance from his parents. Moreover, his tenure as mayor was controversial. Fetterman went on various media tours emphasizing the problems in Braddock, angering many residents. In January 2013, Fetterman believed that he heard gunshots, so he followed an unarmed black man and held him at gunpoint. Fetterman refused to apologize for the incident, despite the jogger having done nothing wrong.
John Fetterman disappears for weeks on end, speaks incomprehensible sentences, and holds unpopular policy positions. If Fetterman is in the lead despite this, how bad can the other guy be?
Mehmet Oz: Dr. Oz was a television host, primarily known for peddling medical misinformation to old ladies. He has lived in New Jersey for about three decades, but decided to run for the Senate in Pennsylvania because his chances seemed better. Additionally, he holds dual citizenship with Turkey, having served in the Turkish army.
Dr. Oz grew up in a Muslim household, played for the Harvard football team, and earned an MD and MBA from the University of Pennsylvania. He began his medical career at Columbia University but found that he enjoyed fame more than surgery.
Oz began his career in the public eye by making appearances as a medical expert on The Oprah Winfrey Show, and he was quickly promoted to hosting a show of his own. The Doctor Oz Show aired for more than a decade and made more false medical claims than true ones. He even guest-hosted Jeopardy for a while.
So, how did Dr. Oz find his way into politics? In 2016, he hosted Donald Trump on his show so that Trump could appeal to a primarily-female audience. Oz then served as a nutritional advisor to Trump while he was in the White House. When Oz announced that he was running for Senate, Trump’s endorsement followed soon after.
Dr. Oz owns two houses in two states, but he owns eight other properties. The Oz campaign recently released a video of Oz in the grocery store, but all the video proved is that Oz does not know how to purchase broccoli. He called the store by the wrong name, and made multiple references to making crudité, without explaining what crudité is. It turns out that “crudité” is usually just called a “veggie tray.”
Oz does not have support from many Republican political commentators, in part due to the fact that he has heavily criticized Republican policies as recently as 2021. Many on the right see him as a grifter, while those on the left see him as, well, Dr. Oz.
The Election: For weeks now, Dr. Oz and John Fetterman have been arguing about veggie trays. Fetterman is refusing to debate Oz until late October, presumably because Fetterman is relying on early voting. The maniac Dr. Oz and the monster John Fetterman may determine control of the Senate, but one does not seem any better than the other.